you know how like those beauty pageants will have like this talent segment in the whole contest. like lets say Miss France's talent would be to do ballet, Miss Egypt's talent would be to belly dance and Miss Thailand's talent is to shoot ping pong balls out of her vagina. well, i have a hidden talent to!
i can do accents!
i know i know, its not exactly as exciting as Miss Thailand's but its still a talent okay! ohh, i can burp on demand too!!
anyway,
so today as i was filing my nails while watching tv, (cause i really had nothing else to do and cutting them would just be too fast so i decided to file them but after filing the third nail, it felt like just too much effort so i went back to the nail clipper. i mean seriously, i dont get how you girls can file all your nails. its like the most mundane thing ever. and everytime i file i feel damn frustrated that they look uneven. seriously, its just too much effort. i know i'm free but i'm not THAT free. ANYWAY,) suddenly i heard somebody knock on the front door.
i opened it and there was this salesman and he asked me,
"can i speak to the house owner?"
and god knows how where what when and why, i suddenly replied,
"no sir, he not at home" IN A FUCKING FILIPINO ACCENT!!!!!
and then when i realised what i just did, i suddenly went "fuckfuckfuck!" in my mind. not verbally of course. in my mind i was already planning my whole story just in case he asked me another question. like i work at mcdonalds at lucky plaza and that i rented out a room in this flat.
luckily the only thing he did was passed me a brochure and he instructed me to pass it to the 'house owner'. and he actually said it slowly like i was mentally retarded or like i didnt understand english or smthing. stupid fuck!
after i closed the door i couldnt stop laughing la. he actually thought i was filipino la damnit!!
eh come to think of it, i donno whether to take that as a compliment or the opposite?
alijoe
